Audra Lindley as Mrs. Helen Roper
Mrs. Roper Mania Hits Provincetown
by Steve Desroches
DJ Maryalice sees a lot at tea dance. The longtime beloved DJ and “vibe manager” at the Boatslip, whose full name is Maryalice Kalaghan, maneuvers through “the season” with the valor and calm of an experienced combat veteran, largely nonplused by any shenanigans, wild costumes, or the down-right bizarre behavior that can come out of the multi-headed beast that is the general public. With her cool demeanor she takes it all in stride and doesn’t stress about the little things. But sometimes she is surprised at her own naiveté or lack of pop culture knowledge, considering she’s been a cultural tastemaker in Provincetown for years, (even though she wouldn’t describe herself as such). That’s why she was confused when she started to see people dressed in colorful caftans wearing curly red wigs. At first it was just a few, but then it grew to be large groups. She shrugged it off. But last winter she sat down to read the Boston Globe and saw an article by Christopher Muther titled “Slip on a caftan and party like Mrs. Roper from ‘Three’s Company’. The Roper phenomenon has arrived in Boston.”
“And then it clicked,” says Kalaghan. “I was like, ‘Oh! I get it!’ And I laughed and laughed. I thought we need to make this a tea dance. I mean, people were already doing it, so let’s make it official.”
As such, every Tuesday the Boatslip now hosts “Mrs. Roper Goes to Tea,” joining a craze that has swept the United States and Canada with revelers dressed as and in honor of Mrs. Helen Roper, the auburn-haired character from the hit sitcom Three’s Company played by Audra Lindley.
The show, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984, featured Jack Tripper, Chrissy Snow, and Janet Wood (portrayed by John Ritter, Suzanne Somers, and Joyce DeWitt respectively) as three unmarried roommates in Santa Monica, with Jack pretending to be gay so their conservative landlord Stanley Roper (Norman Fell) would allow them all to live together, with progressive Mrs. Roper being in on the ruse, while openly expressing her sexual frustrations regarding her no-longer-interested husband. It certainly sounds tame by today’s standards, but at the time it was risqué and a primetime lightening rod of the sexual revolution.
So how did a supporting character on a TV show that stopped production about 40 years ago become a modern-day craze? It all began in 2013 when a group of friends met for drinks at The Golden Lantern in the French Quarter of New Orleans to plan their costumes for Southern Decadence, the annual LGBTQ festival and parade each Labor Day. In that booze-soaked haze endemic to New Orleans, someone shouted out “Mrs. Roper,” according to Bud Moore, who organized the first Mrs. Roper event and is credited with starting the whole shebang. They were a big hit, but it wasn’t until 2023 when they decided to do a revival that the whole thing blew up.
“I was as surprised as anyone,” says Moore. “I knew there had been something in San Diego shortly after we did it again. But I was on a road trip with my boyfriend and we were near Little Rock when I got a call from the New York Times. Then I knew it was something big.”
Now called “Mrs. Roper Romps,” Moore overseas a Facebook page with 70,000 followers sharing news of where one can find a romp near them. But Moore agrees that the Mrs. Roper phenomenon is so much bigger than him as there is now a fan club called the International Order of Mrs. Ropers, with a growing number of local chapters that organize their own events, some called the Running of the Ropers and the Million Roper March. Moore says it’s all good as it’s evident from every Romp he’s attended that it makes people happy and spreads joy. And it’s grown beyond being an LGBTQ event, as straight people, particularly women, have joined the ranks of the Ropers. What Moore, and others, have noticed is that overwhelmingly it is a Generation X affair—no surprise since Three’s Company was run in heavy syndication for that age group’s youth. But it also seems there is an affinity for the character for women, as Mrs. Roper was a middle-aged woman with a confident sense of her sexuality, and amongst LGBTQ people, as, for the times, Mrs. Roper was quite pro-gay…even if Jack was faking it.
There’s another cultural commotion going on, and Moore says whether there’s real evidence or not, he’s going to take a little credit for the resurgent popularity of the caftan, as even high fashion has taken notice. Believed to have originated in ancient Mesopotamia, the caftan is an everyday part of fashion in the Middle East and North Africa for centuries, and enjoyed spasms of global popularity, including in 1890 when Queen Victoria’s granddaughter wore one and then in the 1960s with the counterculture embracing them. Each culture put their adaptation to the breezy garment. But come the late 1970s, caftans became largely synonymous with Mrs. Roper, something you won’t read in Vogue, but is true. And now they are everywhere from Parker Posey on The White Lotus to Hillary Clinton at the Tony Awards to tea dance in Provincetown. Online retailers also sell Mrs. Roper Romp kits, with everything you need, including endless choices of caftans. And Kalaghan for one is thrilled.
“I graduated from high school in 1975,” says Kalaghan. “When I found someone to go to the prom with, I wore a caftan. I couldn’t imagine wearing a prom dress. I would’ve felt ridiculous. I was on the edge of gay. I think I came out a few months later. Caftans were in style and I was so comfortable.”
Mrs. Roper Tea Dance is at the Boatslip Hotel and Beach Club every Tuesday, from 4 to 7p.m., starting June 17 through September 9, though Mrs. Roper garb is welcome at any time. For more information call 508.487.1669 or visit theboatslip.com.
