Photo: Dan McKeon
The Culture and Community of Remembrance in Provincetown
by Steve Desroches
Death comes hard to a small town. Provincetown knows this well. A fishing boat that doesn’t return home to port. The losses of epidemics like smallpox, influenza, and of course HIV and AIDS. The loss of a town elder with all the knowledge and wisdom that comes with age going, too. Or the passing of someone only known by face or even a nickname, having only shared years of hellos and small talk on the weather, can hit in the gut. In a town like Provincetown, with its built environment a village, celebration and grief are often an intense communal experience.
Late summer in Provincetown is always a time of transition with a palpable shift the day after the Carnival parade. The energy just changes. It always does. There’s a lick of melancholy, perhaps a muscle memory of summer vacation ending and time to go back to school. But this year the shift felt more pronounced. The overwhelming chatter around town is that this was one of the best Carnivals in years and that, in particular, the parade day was one for the books. But come that Monday after, when the news that beloved Provincetown resident Rodney “Rod” Vaughan died at only 54, sadness and shock crept in. And the very next day superstar Dolly Parton passed, as did Rocky Horror Picture Show star Tim Curry. Both of course had fans of all kinds, but they were held in special regard by the LGBTQ community. The air felt heavy with grief in Provincetown, but also steely in its resolve to once again be a place of healing. Parton’s death in particular felt as if indeed an actual star had burst out of existence. Within minutes of the news of her death Parton’s music was seemingly everywhere throughout town. And soon, Ryan Landry, host of the Provincetown institution Showgirls, put out a call that the upcoming Monday show would be all things Dolly.
“Come in a big blonde wig, come in a cowboy hat, come with a smile on your face and a song in your heart,” wrote Landry. “Just come.”
As August has slid into September and this weekend’s annual Swim for Life takes place, preceded by the annual Celebration of Life concert at the Unitarian Universalist Meeting House, this year’s events take on added meaning as there’s been so much loss and sadness. It was founded in 1988 when Jay Critchely and Walter McLean swam across Provincetown Harbor to celebrate the body of water as a place of restorative energy, particularly during the height of the AIDS crisis, and to raise money for local health services. But the event and the concert both filled a deeper need. “If a place can exist both in dream time and waking time, it is Provincetown,” says Critchley. In 1993 Critchely introduced the Prayer Ribbons, a “living archive” in which people can write a message, often paying tribute to someone who has died. It provides a visual aspect to celebrating those who have left this plane, but whose energy and spirit remain.
“Our fishing industry has suffered many tragic losses at sea, and AIDS has devastated the town with hundreds of deaths,” says Critchley. “We are raw to the elements, we honor the elements, sand, water, sky, energy. The Swim for Life annually activates Provincetown Harbor waters as a place of healing. At our gathering the Prayer Ribbons flutter overhead, a kinetic reminder of the deep bones buried amidst the sand and sea.”
The Swim for Life weekend will bleed into continued commemorations in town for Dolly Parton, and others. Last Monday’s Showgirls was a tribute to all things Tim Curry. Womencrafts dedicated its weekly Friday Front Stoop Feminist Reading to journalist and activist Gloria Steinem, who passed away on September 2. Conversations along Commercial Street dipped into remembrances of artist Yayoi Kusama, who dazzled Provincetown in the Summer of Love in 1967, and Jaye P. Morgan, actress, singer, and perennial panelist on The Gong Show, who also died the same week as Dolly and Tim, as she, too, wowed the town with shows at the Pilgrim House in the 1980s. Even if you’re a relatively small part of Provincetown, you become enmeshed in its hold forever.
It is, however, the memory of Dolly Parton that continues to sparkle in the ether of Provincetown, testament to her immense contributions not just in the arts, but her work as a humanitarian and her breathtaking kindness. While many are mourning her loss, it is remarkable that news outlets from the Cape Cod Times to CNN came to Provincetown to report on the town’s response. While Dolly may have been the impetus for the stories, they’re really reporting on the strength of the Provincetown community.
“We are in a very sad way practiced when it comes to grief,” says Jon Richardson, who along with Peter Donnelly makes up Donnelly & Richardson, the duo who, since 2021, have performed Dolly, a show focusing on Parton’s work as a songwriter. “Provincetown and the gay community lost a whole generation to AIDS. It’s part of our culture. Dolly meant so much to Provincetown because she was so herself. We can draw strength from her example. We’re a village. We live on top of one another, so you can go out on the street and just talk to and hug someone. It’s our strength.”
On September 25—9/25, a nod to the classic 1980 film—celebrations around the world will honor Dolly. In fact, Cape and Islands Senator Julian Cyr introduced legislation to officially make the date “9 to 5 Day” in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Donnelly & Richardson will perform Dolly on that day at the Pilgrim House, with a portion of the proceeds to benefit Parton’s Imagination Library. But what shows no sign of slowing down is the everyday, organic remembrances that are so part of Provincetown. On a muggy night about a week after Parton’s death, two men dressed in Dolly drag, one carrying a portable stereo, walked down Commercial Street, stopping in front of Bubala’s, in the twilight of its own years. The duo did an impromptu dance to “9 to 5” for the packed patio of diners. The crowd clapped and sang along, some clearly emotional, smiling while crying. That seemed fitting, as Dolly Parton as Truvy in the film Steel Magnolias exclaimed, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”
