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Rip Her To Shreds: The Farewell Roast of Abby Cummings

by Steve Desroches

If you smell the scent of burning charcoal this week, it’s not a late summer barbeque, but rather preparations for the farewell of drag performer Abby Cummings as her friends plan to say goodbye in the best way they know how….by lobbing jokes and insults at her expense. A staple of the Provincetown performance scene for the past four years, Cummings (aka Ross Kizik) is heading to Boston as he misses city life and is joining a friend in founding a new tattoo removal business, perfect for a drag queen to take on skin care and regret. As the height of the season slides into the beautiful sigh of September in Provincetown, Cummings’ friends felt like this was the perfect time for a townie summer show, as the tourists thin out and locals have the time to actually go out for enjoyment, plus they’ll get the inside jokes. Cummings and her drag colleagues have long wanted to do a roast, much like the ones on Comedy Central or the touring Haters Roast, featuring former RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants. And absolutely nothing is off limits in this grilling hosted by Liza Lott and Raquel Blake.

“Raquel had already talked to Ryan Landry, who is perfect, as I know he can read me to filth,” says Cummings, sitting at the bar in an empty Post Office Cabaret hours before it opens for an evening of shows. “I know they’ll have something juicy to say. I can take a joke as well as I can make a joke. I gave people permission to tear me apart. I can take it all. Plus, they’ll get theirs, too, as I get to go last and give it back.”

In addition to Lott, Blake, and Landry, Cummings will also get charbroiled by Miranda Trussell, Anita Cocktail, Thirsty Burlington, DJ Ed Word, Jamie Morris, Vivienne Fontaine, Mona Mour, Hilarie Tamar, and Austin Tyler, a congregation of the people who know her the best and love her, warts and all. A roast is always meant to be an expression of affection, no matter how vicious, and is testament to the role Cummings has in a tight-knit community. 

Cummings’ first stint in Provincetown was from 2011 to 2013, when she was part of the original cast of the Anita Cocktail Variety Hour as well as a guest star for Thirsty Burlington’s show with the occasional gig at the Atlantic House or drag karaoke at the Governor Bradford. But running from a day job at a B&B to the nocturnal world of drag became a little too hectic and Cummings returned to Boston, where she got her drag start in the clubs of Lansdowne Street. 

Like most everything now, time is categorized by pre and post pandemic. Come 2021 Cummings lost her job and like so many people needed to figure out what came next in a most uncertain time. So she came back to Provincetown where she and Anita Cocktail decided it was a good time to revive the Anita Cocktail Variety Hour, bringing it to the Post Office Cabaret, where it’s been a hit ever since and a staple of the Commercial Street performance scene. She’ll certainly miss being part of all that performing in Provincetown entails, but perhaps most of all she’ll miss those uniquely Provincetown evenings, where a series of unexpected events and introductions happen presenting a new adventure most every day. And there is the friendships forged in the trials, tribulations, and thrills that come with living and working in Provincetown.

“We have a very close circle of friends,” says Cumming. “We support each other, we’ve got each other’s backs. We can literally tell each other anything with no judgement. We all know each other so well…it will make it very easy to go after each other.”

Ever since the roast was announced, all the participants and Cummings have been keeping notes and jotting down memories of embarrassing moments or perfect comedic fodder. But all the jabs and jibes have thus far remained a growing secret. But devious snickers and devilish side eye from pals intimates that indeed everyone is chomping at the bit to deliver the one-liners and playful insults they’ve been working on for weeks. And to ensure there’s no hard feeling everyone, including the audience, is invited to an after party in the Cabaret following the roast to raise a glass to each other and continue to have a chuckle. But not too late. Cummings does confess that as a queen of a certain age, the siren’s song of a late night out that used to blare in her younger days has faded as she likes to be home earlier and earlier these days. Cummings smiles and shrugs her shoulders with blissful indifference. But she’s quick to point out that this is a bon voyage party, not a retirement shin dig. 

“Abby will be very much alive and well in Boston,” says Cummings. “You’ll see her about, just not so much at night. Boston has a thriving drag brunch scene thankfully, so I can be home early.”

The Farewell Roast of Abby Cummings is on Thursday, September 19 at the Post Office Cabaret, 303 Commercial St., at 8:30 p.m. Tickets ($35/$50) are available at the box office and online at postofficecafe.net. For more information call 508.487.0006.

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Ginger Mountain

Ginger Mountain (MS Communications Media, BA Fine Arts/Teaching Certification K-12) has been part of the graphic design team at Provincetown Magazine since 2008. Ginger has worked as a creative director, individual contractor, and freelance designer with clients representing many areas —business software, consumer products, professional services, entertainment, and network hardware to name just a few — providing creative layout and development of a wide range of print media content. Her clients ranged from small local businesses to large corporations and Fortune 500 companies, from New Hampshire to Georgia

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